until the violence stops…

Shirley told me she went to see The Vagina Monologues last night with her mum and sister.
that got me surfing to see what’s been going on in the world of V*. so thanks to her for sparking this…

i found this great video from the V-Day 10 year celebrations at the end of last year:

and then i found this,

MENding Monologues.

a guy in Sedona, Arizona has started a project that is in partnership with V-Day… some of the content is powerful… videos here on youtube (which is how i happened upon it)
the project does two types of show: the touring show, and community shows, where men take part in workshops and write their own monologues. <– examples on that page.

“Our shows are a healing to men, a love letter to women and call to end violence in all its forms.”

violence againt women not only damages women, it damages men. and it silences them. which is what all forms of abuse do. silences. puts the things we don’t want to be brought into the light into a closet with the door jammed shut. it makes the truth into a dirty secret no one dare talk about. it creates fear. and in that atmosphere of intimidation, fear and secrets, the abuse goes on.

but i believe men can be just as empowered as women to raise their voice and express their feelings and desire for justice for women, and to heal in the process. MENding Monologues seems to be aiming for just that.

i’ve been waiting for a long time for somone to take seriously what V-Day is about and find a way to bring men’s voices into the conversation. the appropriate response to The Vagina Monologues is not balance things out with The Penis Monologues. it might be entertaining but i think that misses the point. instead, it is to hear the call The Vagina Monologues is making: to end violence by ending silence. that takes courage. but i also know that the process empowers. not with power over, but power for. that power for is what V-Day is all about.
and i’m glad there’s an attempt being made to invite men’s voices into that experience. i know from my own experience how enriching and empowering it was to take part in The Vagina Monologues. that’s an experience i’d want for anyone. and the more voices, the better. this empowers men to share their stories too.

this monologue is a true story courageously told by the man who wrote it. the names have been changed.

and should my dear friends who have suffered and survived rape, assault and abuse ever pass by this page and read this, know i am thinking of you as i write, with as much love, pride and admiration at your survivor’s courage as always…

altogether now:

C, C, Ca, Ca, Cavern, Cackle, Clit, Cute, Come…

LB

*remember, V is for Vaginas and Victory Over Violence.

no excuse for apathy

the events that are unfolding are significant on a number of levels – first and foremost for the people of Iran and their self-determination. but i suspect, like many others online tonight suspect, that we may yet see an even wider change…

i feel something like sadness underneath the amazement and horror at what is being broadcast via the new media today. there is a degree to which i am ashamed. that we who have so much freedom squander the right to publicly rally and raise our voices.

“Life has come to a halt. There were at least 2-3M in the streets today. I’ve never seen such anger. We are not going let this go. They’ve closed all the universities (during final exams) and have started a purge. Many of our professors are missing and student organizers are moving constantly to avoid detainment. The police is just watching and the army has declared neutrality. The violence is 100% caused by the BASIJ and thugs who are roaming the streets. They seem to be targeting girls, swinging with clubs and chains. Its disgusting but we are protected by numbers. Get the word out– the more of us stand together, the safer each individual will be. The reports of the university attacks yesterday are true. We don’t know how many were hurt or killed.”
from a dish reader, here. italics and highlight my own.

i hope we learn from the people of Iran. for not only do we not stand up and use our freedom to speak loudly in solidarity with those who are voiceless in other parts of the world, we rarely stand up for the voiceless in our own neighbourhoods…

for those who have lost their lives and suffered brutality, may we feel deep sorrow…

as the bumper sticker say,

if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention

and most of the time, i’m not…
they are outraged. and i am humbled to be alive to witness their courage and tenacity.

for in all of this, i can only speak for myself. when i say, “we“, i really mean “i“. but if they seek others to add their voice, count me in the collective…

LB

the long shadow

in the last couple of months i’ve written several times about torture, or at least, my own feelings as i try to find a sense of faith (beyond despair) in human goodness or perhaps of what the place for G-D is in all of this mess there is… knowing that being a decent human being is something i fall far short of all too often and that being human, i am not beyond the capacity for violence, as much as i desire to live in peace…

i think this will be helpful… Speaking of Faith: the long shadow of torture

Rejali’s immersion in 40 years of social scientific research also yields the plain, unsettling message that these men and women who have perpetrated torture were probably not sadists, not just a “few bad apples” who defied the norm. The demonstrated if shocking norm of human behavior is that at least half of us are capable of inflicting harm on another human being under orders, in the right circumstances, with the right kind of authority behind the orders. […]

Whether you call it “enhanced interrogation” or “torture,” it profoundly traumatizes the lives and societies of those who experienced it and those who perpetrated it. Coming to terms with these human consequences will be the work not of days but of years and generations. For we know that in our lives, both individual and collective, traumas that we do not face will continue not merely to haunt but to define us. – from krista’s journal: Facing the Malleability of Human Nature (italics my own)

Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is. After all man is that being who invented the gas chambers at Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered the gas chambers upright, with the Lord’s Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips.

– Victor E. Frankl; Man’s Search for Meaning (1946)

LB